When you wish you had kept it…

Have you ever wished that you had kept something that you had made and gifted away?

Not because the recipient was ungrateful or lost the hat that you made them. Twice. But because that thing you made and gifted away was AWESOME, and you wanted it for yourself.

When I was in college I made some holiday gifts for friends on my own time during my ceramics studies. One of the gifts was a bowl that resembled a skull, just the top half of it, as if it were missing the jaw bone. It came out great, the friend loved it, and I decided to make myself one because I really liked it too. The semester continued, and I never got around to making another before my ceramics studio time ended. A small, selfish part of me wishes I had kept the bowl for myself and given her one of the many coffee mugs I had made.

While I was knitting on baby sweater #3 for my good friend recently, I kept having moments where the thought “I should keep this one” kept whispering in my head. I entertained the thought and then pushed it away. I was very invested in this sweater meant for another tiny person-to-be. I had spent a lot of time finding this beautiful pattern, and picking out the yarn for it from my stash in a color that my friend would LOVE. And then purchasing different yarn for it because I completely miss-read the required yardage…

It is probably the most complicated item that I have knitted to date: covered in cables, shawl collar, knit in pieces and seamed! I was so pleased by how it turned out that I entered it in my county fair.

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First place in it’s category at my county fair.

This past weekend I photographed the items I had entered with their prize ribbons, gave them a good pet and put them away. Except for that little cardigan. I spent a lot longer holding it and admiring it. And that thought “I should keep this one” popped up again. Louder.

And I agreed with myself, I think I will keep it.

Now, I do not have a kid. Nor am I pregnant or trying to be at the moment. But Dez and I do plan on having a kid eventually, so it’s not completely outlandish to have this packed away for later…

I know I could totally knit another one of these sweaters and give it to her later. But right now my knitting mojo is all about plowing through some stash yarn and queued patterns, so I can justify buying new yarn at Rheinbeck. She isn’t even expecting this sweater. And I have a few other things planned for her, her husband and baby for holiday gifts anyway.

Right now the sweater is folded up nicely, sitting on a shelf in my craft room. I’ll most likely wrap it up and box it up with some cedar chips sooner than later.